March 29, 2007… 9:42 am

Somewhere between Rockwall and Baton Rouge, on this Spring tour we just finished, Jonathan and I took up the phrase… “Season of the W”. “W”, of course, being short for win.

It started at a Dave & Buster’s in Dallas on one of our off-days. It continued in my Final Four Bracket… (all four final four picks of mine made it to the big show… thank you Georgetown!!!). It continued even further in our harmless hold’em tourneys late nights in our hotels. It even stretched to the gym at Heartland in KC… a rousing game of horse between Scott, Jonathan, Justus and I.

If you know me, you know that I’m addicted to winning. I love competition. I love the thrill of victory and I relish in feeling the euphoria connected to a good drumming of a worthy opponent. I love this in basketball, poker, spades, hearts, monopoly, playstation, football… and, well, the list goes on.

But, I love it all the more in life. There seems to be a feeling of blessing on my life right now. I sense the Lord’s pleasure with me. I sense that a lot of the sowing I’ve done for a long time is manifesting itself into reaping. I see this in my marriage. I see this in my family. I see this in my church. I see it in the deeper relationships of my life. I saw it on the road this past two weeks. It feels like a season of w’s.

You may read this and say, “Fike’s so full of himself… why is he bragging while he’s blogging?”

It’s not that… I am overwhelmed by the hand of God. I can’t believe how good he is. We just had a chance to lead over 5000 people in worship. 5000!!! We sold 275 CD’s and 100 books. We were welcomed and embraced everywhere we went… treated like gold. And, the reaction we got, not just in CD sales, but in warmth and in love was, well… overwhelming.

I feel affirmed. I feel supported. I feel loved. I feel proud of the things that God is doing in my life. And, I’m holding on tight, because just as soon as you turn your head, the “L’s” are bound to start stockpiling again.

One of our drummers at Vanguard lost his father this week. I came to work today and found out that his funeral is today. I’m going home to change clothes… jeans and a hoodie don’t make for great funeral attire.

My point is this… when you are going through a season of “w’s”, you should embrace it, and ride that wave of blessing. Because, life’s not all about “w’s”… there are great losses ahead of us. There are tremendous seasons of frustration and fear in our future. God gives us the “w’s” to remind us of who He is and what He can do. He wants us to remember Him in the impending struggles we’ll face. The “W’s” aren’t about me. They’re about God. And I, for one, am so very thankful.

Relationships are exhausting.

We’re on tour right now, and I’m a lion. I’m a lion all the time. I’m never not a lion. I roar through life without an ounce of timidity. I speak my mind. I scream out my heart. I do not wilt. I do not back down. My heart, and my mind, are unapologetically expressed almost all the time. And, while it’s fairly obvious that my personality lends itself to passion and virility, it also leads me to a big-time problem…

I hurt people.

I hurt people because I am selfish. I hurt people because I am not nearly self-aware enough. I hurt people because I rarely realize that I’m capable of such a feat. I’m a social bull in a china shop. I hurt people because I am self-consumed. I like to think that it’s the good kind of self-consumed—the introspective, contemplative, heart-in-my-hands kind of thoughtfulness that I so greatly admire. But, like all good things in life, my passionate pursuit of “what is right” gets far out of hand… and I hurt people.

But, here’s the rub for me… While I’m not saying that it’s ok to hurt people knowingly, flippantly, or callously, I do believe that to grow in relationship with people is to risk harm on every level. Unfortunately, this is where my role as a leader limits my ability to go there.

I sense that people in my life have a hard time letting me be flawed. No, I’m not saying that complacency is peace. But, is it wrong to accept that salvation is both process and product? Isn’t it solid theology to understand that life’s about learning and not learnedness? And, isn’t it safe to assume that none of us have it all figured out? I live my life looking to find the good– the potential– in people, not just the characteristics that indict them.

I’ve never claimed perfection. I’ve never claimed to want it or need it. I know God is calling me towards the pursuit of holiness. I get that. I want that. I love that. But, is it all right for me to fail and fall along the way? Is it too much to ask my friends, the people who claim to be ‘for me’, to speak life into me, instead of keeping account of the death in my life?

I think this is the tension of REAL relationship. We live in a society that promotes self-sufficiency. So much so, that any time a flaw is revealed amongst us, the collective converges to fix it. Is that what relationship is about? Are we supposed to be fixing each other? Is every flaw in our lives intended to be rectified? Is it possible that God creates us with flaws ingrained in us? Could it be that those flaws are intended to identify our inability to satisfy Him? Is it my job to point out, pick at, and/or pontificate upon my brother’s afflictions? Is there a way to love my brother, be for my brother, and not rush at every opportunity to correct him?

I’m asking…Is it ok to be flawed? If it’s not, then let’s all keep playing this game. Here’s how it works… we all behave in accordance to the standards of the company we keep.

Is that REAL relationship?

I’m not saying that flippancy towards sin is the answer. I’m not saying that I shouldn’t care about how my inner lion’s roar affects the people around me. It is only right that I would care about the people I surround myself with. I’m simply pondering whether it’s too much to ask that they care enough about me to know that a lion is who I am, and that I mean not to hurt them at all. In the wild, a lion and a caribou couldn’t co-habitate. But, in the safety of God’s Kingdom, personality is part of divinity… and community is our command. This means that lions, tigers and bears, (oh, my), must learn to celebrate each others’ strengths and have compassion towards each others’ weaknesses.

Give me the chance to be wholly myself. Let me be flawed. I want to get well, but I need to get known. I think we all do. My heart screams out for the chance to live out in the open. But, it won’t work unless my community embraces me in full. Let me journey towards holiness. Come with me! Let me fall. Love me while I do. Help me up! Let me fail. Comfort me when I do. Share with me how I am affecting you. Engage me. Encourage me. Inspire me to yield even further to Jesus.

Otherwise, I’ll retreat back to the herd. I’ll be that guy who acts, speaks, thinks and behaves in the tension of two very separate lives… the contrived one whose image I control in an attempt to comply, and the sincere one who seems so unsafe to expose.

I believe relationships are exhausting because too few of them actually look like what I’m talking about. We all walk this excruciating tight-rope of compliance and sincerity. And, far too seldom do we ever expose the truth about our hearts. That feels like slavery to me. I thought I was supposed to be free…

I want to get known.

So, last week, I had a harrowing experience…

On the way up to the Ponderosa Camp in Monument, CO., in the middle of an admittedly mild snow storm, Dana, Jonathan and I were cruising up I-25 when suddenly we hit a patch of ice. It was the bad kind. My Pathfinder found no path… except the one that led to the guardrail on the side of the road. We spun out of control for what felt like hours and seemed like seconds until…

Crash!!!!

Now, Jonathan, Dana and I are all looking at each other in stunned amazement as we tried to gather our senses. Did that really just happen?

Luckily, we were all ok. No injuries to our bodies, but what about our hearts?

It struck me, (literally), how uncertain life really is. We’d all like to think that the world we’re living in is privy to our control, but it’s not. We’d all like to believe that we’ve got a grasp on the trajectory of our lives, but we don’t. God is at the wheel, and the devil’s riding shotgun. Every turn and twist exists within the dominion of their battle for our hearts. I don’t say that to sound morbid or morose. I’m not a doomsday-er. But, it’s fool-hearty to think that life bows down before our ambition. It’s even sillier to think that God’s plans bend the knee to ours.

There is something God is trying to teach me. First, always wear your seatbelt. Second, do not wait ‘till tomorrow to do what God is calling you to do today… why? Because, tomorrow’s not promised. And, it can happen in the blink of an eye. Why wouldn’t you stretch your neck out if you believe that God is calling you? Why wouldn’t I?

For a long, long time, I have lived with a not-so-quiet desperation. I have longed to see my dreams—my calling—come to fruition. I have sat on my hands and waited for it to come to me. But, there really is something to the ideal of taking life by the horns. What am I waiting for? Why am I so timid? It’s because I’ve been afraid to fail for a lot of years. Why? And… so what if I do? I’m loved. I’m supported. I’m submitted. What am I waiting for?

What are you waiting for? What’s the one thing you’ll kick yourself for if you never try? What’s the one thing you know you’re capable of that feels too big to even dream about? What’s keeping you from pursuing it? What’s keeping you from believing in yourself… in God’s design of your life? What are you waiting for?

So, what hills will I choose to charge now that I’ve lived through my o-m-g moment? I don’t know yet. But, I’ll tell you this: patience is over-rated, and I’d rather be a grizzly than a koala. Look out world…

Morning services and Sunday night concert

City-wide Worship Rally

Morning services and Sunday night conert

Youth Worship Event